Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Where's Waldo???

Dear CTA,
Would it be at all possible for you to remove your head from your ass?  I understand that construction on Wacker makes it necessary to re route the the busiest buses right in the middle of winter, but do you think you could find time to draft a memo to your drivers- briefing them on the detour?  Just a thought.  Not that I don't enjoy running laps in the snow (in heels) to catch the elusive #122 to my office in the morning.  Perhaps I should thank you for the free personal training sessions.  Here's an idea: why not paint the buses with red and white stripes and make it a game of "Where's Waldo"?

Best Regards!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Whiskey+Metra Newsletter=Fun

Who knew that the Metra has a newsletter????? Not this girl!  It all started when I stopped by my favorite Ogilvie bar after working late.  I had 20 minutes to kill before my train, and I had every intention of boarding the train early and finishing up some paper work, BUT I couldn't help but notice a sign advertising a drink special on Manhattans.  I stopped in for 1, because it would be rude to walk past my favorite bar serving my favorite drink on special.  So, I had my drink and then boarded the train as planned...and that's when I saw it: the Metra newsletter.  It was the headline on the front page that caught my eye: "Shhh! Quiet cars to debut".  Praise the sweet little baby Jesus; it's about f***ing time!!!!!  After reading the article I found the most amazing thing: the Metra Soundingboard.  A forum for all of the tired, cranky commuters to provoke and insult each other.  Had I known of it's existence I may never have started this blog!  Naturally, I couldn't help myself and I emailed the following post:

"Title: Wilmette Wrangler
I would like to preface this rant by clarifying that I did not christen this woman the "wilmette wrangler" I just over heard her nickname from others who have experienced her wrath.  She really is the worst of the worst, takes up all 4 seats(during rush hour!!!)  at the end of the car with her various CVS bags and punishes anyone who sits across from her by piling her bags on them.  I am one of her many victims.  She treats the conductors like garbage and throws a screaming tantrum if anyone is sitting in "her" seat when she boards.  She is an infamous terror on the UP North line and needs to be taught a lesson- so I am going to sit in "her" seat as often as possible."

Like I said, couldn't be helped....liquid courage and what not.  Which brings me to my next brilliant idea!  I am going to share my favorite posts from the Sounding Board when I find ones that thoroughly entertain me.....STARTING NOW:

"Title: He's asking for it
For you people bashing the seat-hoggers: I am one of those people!  I can tell you one thing: I have to wake up at 4am to catch the train.  You betcha I am going to get the double seat on the top closest to the exit.  When you get on the train and I see you coming I act like I am sleeping.  Why, you ask?  Because some of you don't shower, or fart right next to me.  I for one am not dealing with this on my way to work.  I don't care how much you whine.  Your enemy the seat-hogger!!! Jake"

HOLY BALLSTEIN!  I don't know if I hate him or love him...can't decide

Monday, December 20, 2010


                                                        Email:  attaboydesigns@gmail.com
                                                          Twitter: @attaboy_designs
So far THIS is my favorite, but I'm sure I am going to love the one Josh is making for me even more.  I had a phrase stuck in my head for over 2 weeks an thought it would look amazing on one of these shirts- can't wait to show it off! 

What is This pt. 2

 It hasn't started snowing, I think it's safe to say  you can un-tuck your pants from your boots......unless you're going fly fishing on your lunch break.
As if that get up wasn't bad enough, this glorious ensemble made it's way around the corner seconds later:
 I know what you're thinking; "Lindsay, the man is obviously a doctor, leave him alone!"  I don't know about you, but I have never seen a pair of scrubs with pleats and a waistband.  One look around the city at lunch time and it's understandable that companies like UBS find it necessary to create a dress code.

The following made my day:
Loves it!!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I went on a date with Clay Aiken

Ok so I didn't literally go on a date with Clay, but it was his look alike.  I have requests from many friends to start documenting my experiences in the on-line dating scene.  I have been hesitant because I don't want to come off as a shallow bitch, but I do find it hard to keep some of the stories in.  I will state though, that none of my dates have been horrible.  Everyone I have met has been really nice, just not the right person for me.  So here goes......

On-line dating is a tricky thing you see.  Most people search for the best picture they have EVER taken and then that is there profile pic.  The rest of the pictures contain some
kind of amazing photo of a vacation they have been on to let the ladies know they are adventurous.  Please.  The other pictures are of them amongst friends and normally placed far enough away that you really can't see exactly what they look like.  And occasionally you'll get the guy who takes a picture with his nephew to make it look like he loves kids.  It's so cheeseball!!!!  

On this particular date, I was convinced he was smoking hot!  
His profile picture was of him making a very serious face and 
he had on those "geeky cool" thick glasses that lots of guys are 

We chatted a few times via "online website" and text.  Decided to meet at a bar in River North.  He showed up, smiled and I think the expression on my face said it all.  Dead ringer of Clay Aiken. UGH!!!!  Not to mention 6'0 in on-line dating world really means 5'10.  In my head I'm thinking, "well you're here and I'm sure he is nice, don't be a total bitch." So we had a couple drinks and in the end he was a great guy.  Really nice, but not one, single, f****** spark was flying anywhere. What sucks the most about on-line dating is that they don't like you just as much.  So it's a major blow to the ego when you don't like them and come to find out, they think you suck too. He was probably thinking "Jesus crazy chihuahua lady, I get it, you like your job! I'm not buying a suit from you."

I'm not giving up though on my quest for love.  In the end, dating gets my lazy butt off the couch and obviously gives me great writing material.  I don't have the energy to back track on my other dates, although I should.  One time I literally jumped in a bus and left while the guy was still processing why I had to leave all of a sudden.  And another guy, used the word "retard" so lightly it offended me....and I'm hard if not impossible to offend.

Stayed tune....I got a couple more guys in the pipeline so I will have more to report after the holidays.  And if you do have a friend to set me up with, don't be afraid, I won't write about that one;)


Friday, December 17, 2010


A very talented friend of mine has recently started up his own tee shirt line based off of Chicago graffiti and architecture.  All of the images are hipstamatic and were taken by Josh on his iPhone.  The shirts are awesome and Josh is taking orders from boutiques left and right.  He is working on a special one for me, and as soon as I get it I will share pictures!
Josh can be contacted by email: attaboydesigns@gmail.com
twitter: @attaboy_designs

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Home Alone

After more apartments than I can even remember, and more roommates than I can even count- I finally found my own place.  Sure the rent doubled, and I had to do all of the cleaning alone, but it was MY place.  I no longer had to label food in the fridge, be courteous of other's sleep cycles, or avoid awkward eye contact with random shackers I passed in the hallway.  I played music loud in the shower and sang at the top of my lungs, bought expensive bottles of wine and didn't have to worry about hiding them, and CONSTANTLY walked around naked.  Sometimes to move forward you have to take two steps back, and I have landed at my Dad's house....at 27!  There are some perks, I come home to a warm meal (tonight was shake and bake chicken) , I only have to walk Beau once a day, I don't pay bills, I am driven to and picked up from the train station every day, and I have a choice of three cars to drive.  I have to admit my family has a pretty good sense of humor, case in point:

I do appreciate the support of my family and the amenities living at home has to offer, but I can't wait to be in my own place again.  Because even when I lived alone, I always had something to look forward to coming home to: